If I had the power, I’d eliminate it. If it were physical, I’d punch it. Here’s why:

  • It’s the coldest month of the year.

    • Yes I live in California and don’t know what “real cold” is, but screw that, I feel cold and that’s all that matters. It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning, my car is full of frost when I wake up and the last thing I want to do upon waking up is to take a hose that itself is frozen so I can clear my windows. And yes statisticaly speaking January may be colder, but not by much, and by then we’ve already adjusted.

  • The days are the shortest of the year.

    • Sunshine = happiness. Darkness = depression. When I get up in the morning it’s pitch black out, and when I go home it’s also completey black out. I don’t get to enjoy any sunshine during the day, and as luck would have it my office is situated in the middle floor of a skyscraper which itself is surrounded by other tall buildings, completely blocking off the sun.

  • It rains.

    • Again, I live in California, which makes it even worse because December is when it begins to rain hard, and for people used to 13 months of dry weather in the year, drivers become worse, accidents happen, traffic sucks.

  • No winter vacaction.

    • The best part about being in school was that you got to enjoy winter breaks after a long quarter/semester concluding with an intense final week–but in this paradigm (there’s that word again) of a real world December results in essentially 1-2 days off, not worth it.

  • Stores and malls are more crowded than ever.

    • Even if I’m not gift shopping and just want to pick up something simple essentials, like facewash and gel, the stores are overcrowded, lines are long, parking is hard to get, and as a result people get impatient and get pissy. So much for the holiday cheer.

  • More money is spent in this month than any other.

    • I don’t have hard stats on me but I’m sure credit card debts are at its peak in December, which isn’t really good for anyone either. It’d be offsetted if I got a my bonus in this month, but our company gives it out in January.

  • Christmas music.

    • ‘Nuff said. It sucks. Even the street people in SF jump on the bandwagon. Until I pay them to stop.

  • Traffic and airports are the worst around Xmas time.

    • If I have to pick up a family member/friend/etc. from the airport on the 25th, and by that I mean anywhere between the 20th-30th, I will de-family, or de-friend them. It doesn’t help that the airports in Oakland and San Jose are very poorly designed, and SFO is as big and confusing as the Amazonian Rainforest. Driving 100 miles out to visit family will suck just as badly too I’m sure.

  • I turn older.

    • There was only one year where this was cool, and that was 2004 when I turned 21. Otherwise it is in this month that a little part of my youth is slowly taken away from me, sending me into old age, disease, senile-ism, etc.

  • Drunk driving is at its peak at this time.

    • I’m going to consider the early hours of January 1 to be a part of December, which, after a night of “ringing in the New Year” the roads will undoubtedly be full of drunkards thinking they’re safe to drive home. Of course then there’s Xmas day, and office Xmas parties where people have their one day of freedom away from the kids and act like they’re in college again–but after a long break from drinking have no idea what they can really handle Again, not good for anyone, from the drivers themselves and those who share the road with them.

  • Being alone is magnified at this time.

    • Not something that bothers me at all, but for those that it does affect, the effect is magnified right around that last week of the evil month that is December. If it were eliminated, less people would die, be depressed, and go into poverty, and the world would be a better place.

Is it a coincedence that the first two letters of this terrible terrible month are the same as that of De-vil?

I think not.

Cliff’s: Friends don’t let friends have December.