In the crazy technophilia world of ours some of us may possess many different pseudonyms upon which different personalities spawn.

For instance in the land of AIM I’m known as Viper TvN, on other parts of the web I’m “PiKindaGuy” or “BruinPi3″– and in the sphere of the Yelp, I’m simply “Tien N”..the cocky reviewer who speaks his mind and knows no restraints..

Approximately 13 months ago–maybe 2 months into the start of my Yelping career–a few coworkers and I were roaming the mean streets of the financial district of San Francisco one afternoon looking to alter our state of minds. Somehow we end up at MR, a hybrid upscale lounge-y area combined with a barbershop upstairs.

They had just opened and so naturally I went on Yelp and expressed my feelings after the fact. A quick looksee through the 5 or so reviews that had already been published raised bit of suspicion though–as they all were by “users” who had just one review (for MR), no picture attached to their profile, and, they all gave the place a perfect ***** rating.

I kindly pointed this out in my review, and just a few brief hours later got this message..

Tien N,
This is Sean Heywood, one of the founders of MR. I want to thank you for reaching out to the Yelp community and for sharing your insightful and candid perspectives regarding our business E” especially at it’s nascent stage.

My primary reason for responding to your post is to address your claim regarding the authenticity of our existing Yelp reviews. Our friends and family, who happen to be the early adopters of our venture, tend to use Yelp as an intelligence resource, and unfortunately do not contribute feedback to the Yelp system as they should. This is why most of our feedback thus far is from first-time contributors. However, these individuals are among the most critical individuals we’ve encountered, and it is there candid feedback over the past three years that is responsible for most of the elements of our business that you lauded us for in your review. So while they are not experienced Yelpers (yet), there feedback is just as valuable.

….

I hope I’ve been able to clarify any misunderstandings you may have had regarding our existing feedback. So if the assumption that our reviews were not real is the only thing that is preventing you from giving us our fourth star, I ask that you truly reflect on my message and consider upgrading your review. As the founder of a start-up, I have a million deliverables that I must execute on in the coming days, but I’ve chosen to respond to your posting because my, my business partner’s and our business’ reputation is extremely important. In fact, its paramount.

…

I look forward to seeing you the next time your drop by MR. Have a great day bro.

Yup he actually dropped a bro bomb on me at the end.

In any case, not needing to or wanting to make any enemies I edited my review accordingly, and decided to let the public at large form their own opinions on the matter.

Fast forward a month or so later then, to just about one year ago to the day (give or take), and after an outdoor St. Patrick’s Day celebration, a member of my entourage was curious about this MR place so we decide to check it out.

Slightly hesitant I was, given that my identity/pictures were all attached to the review I had just written, which I can only assume caused a bit of a stir to the newly founded business…but assured myself that I was just being silly/cocky and that there’s no way they’d even be able to recognize me. Plus, even if they did it would’ve been old news by then and they surely would’ve gotten over it already.

We go in then, they were still new and in the “woo all their visitors” stage, so we get a nice tour of the place from one of the hostesses. My friend is impressed and I’m just trying to pretend as if everything is new to me. “A BARbershop that serves beer?? Uh huh uh huh…coooooooool….oh you don’t say?”

After the short scripted tour, one of the owners joins us for a bit of chit chat:

Sean: Hey how you guys doing I’m Sean, I’m one of the owners.
Friend: What’s up Sean, I’m Nii, nice to meet you *shakes hands*
Me: Hey Sean I’m…um, tien *reaches hand out*
Sean: *starts to extend hand out…eyes start to widen* o___O
Me: (oh shit)
Sean: …did you say Tien?
Me: *nods*
Sean: As in…Tien N?
Me: That’s…me.
Friend: HAHAHA
Sean: HAhahahAHAHHAAHHAHaaa
Me: *laughs uncomfortably, and uncontrollably* heh, heh, heh…
Friend: HAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHahhahahAHahahaahaahHA
Sean: *still laughing…laughs some more, gasps for air* Oh MAN….Hey Yumi! Come over here a second..
Me: (goddamnit)
Yumi: Yo what’s up?
Sean: *catches breath* Hey I want you to meet a couple guys..this here is Nii..
Yumi: Hey how’s it going *shakes hands*
Sean: And this here…*turns to my direction* is…Tien.
Yumi: Hey how’s it…wait………..TIEN??
Me: *nods, smiles*
Yumi: HahaHAHAHhahaHAhahahaha
Sean: HahahAHhahahahahAHAHHAhaha
Friend: HAAAaaaaAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAHAhahaahaaaaHAAHAHaaa
Yumi: Oh my goodness man…holy, shit…AhAAAHhahahahhahahahahahahAHAHa
Me: *turns toward friend* This is kind of funny.
Yumi: Hey Carol!  Come over here a second..
Me: (motha f’er)

It was one those Southwest “Want to get away?” moments where I wanted to either run, or die, whichever was more convenient.

So after I’m just about redder than a tomato at this point and after what feels like an eternity and is all a blur really, we all share a few (lots) more laughs (at my expense), we hug it out, and all is well and settled in the world of Yelp reviewer vs. business owner.

Now then, fast forward a year later to about a week ago, where the story once again starts similarly.

Coworker and I looking to get a quick fix, blah blah, end up at this cozy little place called Dada. I pot a positive review of the place, and end it with a little inside information that I found slightly interesting.

I can be such a 12-year-old girl sometimes, which is good, because despite my youthful baby face I didn’t get *cough cough* asked for ID here..

A week later then after celebrating the Irish side of myself outdoors style, a friend and I are still too embarrassingly sober–so we decide to hit up what else, but Dada.

After a brief conversation with the bartender (the same one I saw last week) about what we should get, as the happy hour menu had unfortunately ended already–we order up our drinks, but not without the bartender asking my friend for her ID.

I’m a bit surprised of course, given what I went through during my last visit, and she’s a bit taken aback too, as she’s…let’s say…a few years above legal drinking age, which I kind of inappropriately joke about.

“Yeah she’s actually 14 and a half”.

The bartender kind of laughs, looks at me and goes, “Yeah last week someone apparently came in here and wrote a review on Yelp saying we don’t check for IDs so now we have to do it to everyone”.

And I don’t know if I’m imagining it now or what, but I swear she gave me a wink when she said “someone”, with an extra emphasis on the “some” part.

It takes me a few seconds to kind of put 2 and 2 together…”Oooooh…really, someone…did that?”

And she looks at me again with a nod and goes “…Yup”.

“Oh, interesting”.

“Sure is…”.

Cue Southwest voice: “Want to get away?”